You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
