did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
