Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
