What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
