I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
