just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
