I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
