I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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