I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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