whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
