i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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