ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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