i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
