? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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