i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
