He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
