office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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