I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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