No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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