I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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