I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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