All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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