Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize