i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize