I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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