No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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