shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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