where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
