After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
