just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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