I smell stomach acid.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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