My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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