I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
