they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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