I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
