i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
