it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
