shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
