At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize