It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
wakey wakey hands off snakey
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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