i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
