New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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