I want to stick my p in your. b.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
