? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
