Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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