my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize