How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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