Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize