i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
