thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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