Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
