Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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