she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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