she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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