i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
