White coat. Heels.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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