Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
