I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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