Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
