THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
