I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My breasts were aching with rage.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
