ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
and you fell through a lawn chair
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
